


why can't you love me back?

by bad_detective



Series: cytus 2 characters have a bad time during a soulmate AU [2]
Category: Cytus (Video Games)
Genre: Also fbskdbsisj I didn’t listen to the whole thing about Simons sister, Angst, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Cytus 2 Spoilers, Everything Hurts, Funeral, Gender Dysphoria, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Misgendering, No smut only angst, One-Sided Attraction, Swearing, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, all ships with conneR can be nothing but toxic change my mind, everyone is a fucking bastard, neko now lives with xenon bec thats convenient, no beta we die like men, so she’s not in this, sorta soulmate au?, trans xenon/simon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:26:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24378697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bad_detective/pseuds/bad_detective
Summary: Simon told himself that he wasn't over cherry, that he didn't care for Colin. but there was no escaping it.
Relationships: Simon Jackson | Xenon/Colin Neumann Jr. | ConneR
Series: cytus 2 characters have a bad time during a soulmate AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736440
Kudos: 5





	1. hey you're sorta cute...

**Author's Note:**

> oh sh*t f*ck ass. time to cry b*tches. enjoy the first chapter.

"AHHHHHHH-" Vanessa screamed, Simon didn't even have time to process what had happened Paff seemed to be almost half-dead from trying to kill Vanessa. The others ran to Paff's side while he stayed behind. "Paff! you're okay!" Neko cried. all Simon could do was stay there, he barely could process what had been happening over the past few days. Sherry had died, his ex-girlfriend. 

He wasn't the only one to not run over to cherry, Colin Neumann Jr stayed behind as well. Maybe they just couldn't express their emotions, maybe it was too shocking for them to process. Of course, that would be the case for Simon, Colin was a different story. Colin didn't care for _anyone,_ Simon knew this fact but it didn't stop him from liking the man. 

Time seemed to just fly by. It had been three months after the 'incident', Paff was better and everyone had mostly gone back to their normal lives. Except for Simon, he was never good at change. Sherry Pauline was gone, even though she was an Ex of his her death still hurt. He couldn't get his mind off of anything that didn't happen over the past year. 

Xenon: hey colin?

ConneR: yes?

Xenon: are you still meeting me there?

ConneR: yeah. 

Colin sure as hell hadn't changed either. Simon told himself that he wasn't over cherry, that he didn't care for Colin. but there was no escape from it. "hey!" the man who he had been waiting for broke him out of his daydream. He _almost_ got annoyed _._ "you're late" Simon commented. Anything beyond that moment was a blur, he didn't know why he couldn't remember things. He just didn't care at this point. Simon was captivated by this man's looks, he couldn't take his eyes off him. 

If three months felt like an hour, the conversation felt like a fraction of a second. He knew what he was feeling when he was near Colin, and he knew it wouldn't turn out good. He didn't want to fight it. He loved him, even if the feelings weren't reciprocated. Simon almost felt sick when he thought about the man. It had been three months, no more than three months these feelings had been crossing his mind, maybe it was five or even seven. He had Sherry to occupy him in the past, now that she was gone shit was happening. 

He should've slept on it, but why would he? His mind was racing, this wasn't unusual. Although it probably should've been. He looked at a clock, it was 1:38. "hey Simon!" a high-pitched voice came from the other room, "yeah?" a young-looking girl came out of the hall. "I know you're lonely and all that shit, but when did you last sleep" she laughed. "I'll sleep later" "Sure you will" Neko paused for a minute. "What are you even thinking about at this hour?" Simon didn't reply, even he didn't know what was happening. 

he lay on his bed for what seemed to be hours before falling asleep. His head hurt 


	2. this may be a bad idea, but i'll stick with it

Simon hated the morning, everything about it was bad. sometimes he wished to stay in bed forever.

he got up eventually, after what seemed to be an hour of lying around he got dressed. he looked at his reflection in the mirror, noticing something weird. around the corner of his mouth were flower petals. he could almost hear his heart thumping through his chest. he could even swear that roots had invaded his gums, with the feeling of leaves grinding between his teeth. 

they were purple. they were anemone petals actually, but Simon didn't take notice. all he thought about was getting rid of them. a sharp squeak came out as he tried to pull them out. "hey Neko!" "Yeah!?" "where's your tweezers?!" "bathroom drawer!" he was shaking while holding them. "shit" he muttered under his breath as he pulled on the petals. blood dripped on the floor, he tried to remember where he left medical supplies. 

"Simon you're bleeding" Neko pointed at Simon's face, her hands quivering along with her voice. "well shit" "we need to call a doctor" "no, I'll be fine" "well if you say so" 

Simon sat in his room for the rest of the day, he made plans with colin earlier. _god, this is so stupid._ not much could be done to ease his thoughts, even Neko stared from a distance. at this point, it would take a miracle to ease both of their thoughts. maybe it was simons stubborn nature that stopped him, maybe it was Nekos fault for not even trying to help him. or even, the fact that Simon and Colin had met in the first place.

But either way, it didn't stop Simon from drifting off to a night of dreamless sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck, this exists, and yeah.
> 
> sorry for short chap. have lots of shit going on in my life.


End file.
